SVM: DDG — Episode 2: Eric’s New Office

Episode 2: Eric’s New Office

Pam: ♫ ♪ Hmm hmm hmmm…♪ ♫

Pam:   Ah, Eric. You’re here.

Eric:   So I am. Good evening, Pam, Valkyrie.

Valkyrie: Good evening, Sheriff.

Eric: So…are the renovations in our offices complete, Pam?

Pam: Why, yes they are! I’m sure you’re going to love yours…the furniture is even better in person than it was in the online images. I’m very pleased with it.

Eric: Excellent. Then if you need me…

Pam: You’ll be in your gorgeous new office?

Eric: Exactly.

Pam: Wait for it…wait for it…

Pam: NOW.


Valkyrie: (*snicker*)

Eric: What is this?

Pam: It’s your new office, silly!

Eric: I realize that, Pamela. Perhaps I should have been more precise and asked, “What is the meaning of this?

Pam: It’s lovely, isn’t it?

Eric: …

Pam: I understand; you’re overwhelmed. There’s no need to thank me, Eric. After all, I am undead to serve.

Eric:  Pamela, my office has been decorated in pastels and butterflies and cherry blossoms.

Pam: Of course, Eric. Don’t you remember what you instructed?

Eric: What I instructed was “Make it memorable and impressive. Spare no expense.”

Pam: I’ll have you know, I followed those instructions to the letter! Do you have any idea how much this furniture cost? It’s vintage and it was NRFB! And I’m not even going to mention the shipping!

Pam: Honestly, Eric…if you wanted wood and leather, you should have said so. You’re the one who said memorable. How could anyone ever forget this?


Pam: You haven’t even tried the chairs yet. They’re very comfortable.



Eric: Get out. Now.

Pam: I’d offer to trade offices with you, but I went with a Sanrio theme in mine. I know you’re more of a San-X fan.

Eric: I do rather like those black and white pigs…

Pam: You just can’t stay mad at me, can you, Master?

Eric: (*wholly unnecessary sigh*) Did the seller of the furniture happen to offer a return policy?

Pam: I’d love to say yes, but then I’d be lying, and I just can’t do that to you. As my Maker and all.

Eric: Pam, as sheriff, you know that I depend on this office in making a first impression on my subjects and petitioners. What kind of impression do you suppose vintage Mattel and a pastel butterfly wonderland will make on people?

Pam: It will say, “I am vampire sheriff Eric Northman, and I am supremely confident in my sexuality! Oh, and in my taste in décor as well.”

Eric: You are entirely too mischievous for your own good sometimes, Pamela. No one ever will forget this office, will they?

Pam: That’s the spirit, Eric! Own it!

Eric: Pam?

Pam: Yes?

Eric: Get out.



SVM: DDG — Episode 1: Prologue

SVM: Drop Dead Gorgeous

Episode 1: Prologue


Sookie: Boo-hoo…(sniffle)

Eric: Sookie? My lover, what’s wrong?

Sookie: Oh, Eric! It’s terrible!

Eric: What’s terrible?

Sookie: This!

Eric: Lover, you’ll have to be a little more specific than that…

Sookie: Look at this!

Sookie: The landlady promised us we’d have a picfic, but all we have is frou-frou clothing and a frou-frou sitting room!

Eric: I rather like the sitting room. It’s elegant.

Sookie: Well, honestly I like it, too…

Sookie: …but we have stories to tell, and I want to tell them! And how can we tell them when we’re sitting in a set from Dangerous Liaisons?!?

Eric: In the landlady’s defense, a liaison such as we have, between a thousand year old vampire sheriff and a telepathic, part-fairy Louisiana barmaid, is rather perilous.

Sookie: You just don’t get it! BOO HOO!

Eric: Sookie, it grieves me to see you so upset. Therefore, I will solve this problem for you…

Eric: I will drain the landlady.

Sookie: NO!

Eric: Is it not an appropriate fate for one who disappoints my bonded and pledged wife?

Sookie: NO! And I’m not your wife…just by vampire standards, I am. No draining the landlady! Now put those things away!

Eric: As you wish.

Eric: I will run her through instead.

Sookie: Eric! No violence! Jeez!

Eric: I fail to see the problem here, but fine.

Sookie: I don’t want you to kill the landlady. I’m just frustrated with waiting!

Eric: This is a human thing, isn’t it? Sookie, may I sit with you?

Sookie: Of course!

Pam: I came as fast as I could. I was meeting with the decorators about Eric’s office two shelves down when I heard the commotion.

Pam: So, who are we going to drain?

Sookie: ARGH! Pam, this is a private discussion. Damned vampire hearing!

Pam: Sookie, I only wish to help.

Sookie: Pam, please. You just wanted to get in on any potential violence.

Pam: Well, I am a very versatile vampire…

Eric: Pam, we’d like some privacy. Now go finish your work in my office.

Pam: Pfft…fine. But Sookie, if you need anyone drained, I’m your vamp!

Sookie: grrr… ‘Kay,thanksPam.Bye.

Pam: Ciao!

Eric: Now, lover…if I can’t dispatch the landlady, what do you suggest I do to fix this?

Sookie: Eric, I don’t expect you to fix it. I just want you to hold me and tell me it’ll all be OK. That’s really all I want.

Eric: Sookie, I promise you…it will all be alright.

Sookie: Eric, are you just saying that ’cause I told you to?

Eric: Partially…but I also believe it. I’d move heaven and earth for your happiness, but I do genuinely believe everything will work out. The world will hear our tale. Plus, I just saw the landlady carry in another bag from the craft shop.

Sookie: You did? Then there is still some hope.

Eric: Yes, have faith, my lover.

Eric: By the way, have I told you how lovely you look in your frou-frou gown?

Sookie: Thank you…you look pretty good in your old stock jacket yourself.

Eric: I think I know how we can pass the time while the landlady remodels…

Sookie: I think I have an idea or two myself…


Welcome to The Blog!

So, I started this blog to have a place to post my picfic called SVM: Drop Dead Gorgeous.  I guess it would be wise of me to say a little something about the project first, right?

Part One:  The Dolls

I have been collecting dolls for years now, and I have been collecting Pullip dolls seriously (the kind of dolls who “star” in my series) for over a year now.  I had owned a few for years, and just never bothered to do anything with them other than keep them displayed in a case.

However, at some point late in 2009, I became really obsessed with these dolls.  I can’t tell you what exactly it is about them, but I just adore them!  I began to collect them in earnest then, and at this writing, I have 21 (…I think…?) with one on her way and two on layaway, and I have owned and then sold at least as many as I presently own.  So…basically I have a herd of dolls.  They stand about 11 inches tall (like a Barbie), and their heads are quite oversized.  There is a mechanism within the head which allows the eyes to blink and to be moved from side to side.  The dolls can be customized by switching out their eyes or wigs, or even repainting their faces.  Way better than the Barbies I grew up with!

The herd lives in an Ikea glass-fronted doll cabinet in my family room.  There are 8 shelves within, and my goal is to transform each of these shelves into an individual room or set for the dolls.  It’s a fun hobby, since it involves some planning and creativity, plus sale hunting and financial finagling on my part (since I’m presently unemployed-by-choice).

Next post:  SVM, and the nature of picfics!